Quotes from our house

Just because in this madhouse I say and hear a lot of stuff that I never imagined I would.  

I'd love to hear the funniest things that are said in your house, add a wee comment.

• Stop singing and close your legs! (Freddie to me because he wanted to sit on my knee)
• Can you PLEASE not argue with me when I am pooping? (me to Freddie)
• Will you stop looking at that with your mouth please!
• I've just done a STINKING fart.  I'm going to tell daddy, he will be DELIGHTED. (and he was)
• Gosh boys, you are soaked...the response "LETS GET NAKED"
• get that windmill off your willy please
• Can I borrow your ear muffins mummy, its just too noisy in here.
• I want a cud mummy, its a cuddle without the le and that means you have to sit still, don't move, don't blink or talk and I'll cud you.
• What are you guys doing? 'We are naked and going tot he shop to get you a new fixed phone that's not broken so we can watch YouTube videos again'
• Right, I think some nice kind person needs to help their sister and pick up the puzzle from the floor.  'No Mummy I am not  nice or kind person that person is you, you are a nice kind person'
• Ok, time to tidy up time dude... 'No thanks mummy!'
• Mummy do you want to smell my bummy?
• Mummy, you are like a toy cos you are squishy like a teddy.  I like that.
• I was a tiny bit sick but its ok, my mouth was so full of burger it kept it from coming out!
• I want to play hide and seek with my pillow daddy!
• Can you please go to the shop for some snacks and water for my scoopy doo?
• Daddy, you are the master and mummy is the dame!
• I really like you mummy, I'm probably quite shy with other normal people, they aren't like you.
• Where are all the bloody heads?
• Mummy, I just CAN'T stop liking you!
• Ok but is the black car kind of red?
• Mummy we kind of have a situation here
• Mummy, I need you to cuddle my feet
• Please stop sucking the table
• Oi, are you farting or pooping?  Do you need to come out of the bath?
• Right Dude strip off its PJ time!  Awwwww mummy you said I am not to get naked.  I know darling but thats when we are out of the house, not when we are getting changed.
• Keep going guys, you are doing such a good job, well done Daddy!  (The dude coaching us all as we moved a new suite into the living room)
• You are such a cool mummy mama!  (I'm sure the dude will not have this opinion for long so definitely worth noting!)
• Stop farting at me dude I have something to tell you!

• If I find a poop do I get a prize?

• I'm on a mission mummy have you seen a poop around here?

• I have a feeling there is a poop in this house somewhere.

• She NEEDS to have a bath in the morning you can not send her to school with shitty feet.

• Are these my devil horns mummy?

• My daddy is probably called Michael.
• Get in the bloody boat! (3 year old said to 7 year old, the 'bloody boat' was a massive, pulled off the wall fixed fire guard.)
• L-J, L-J I've done something stupid, help me. 
• RIGHT, I've had enough now, will you please stop barking over me when I am talking to Daddy!

• Get that food in your mouth and stop pretending to be blind!

• Dad can I have some more Fireman Sam on my pizza?  Eh Fireman Sam? Ahhh you mean Parmesan!